Easy Signs To Determine OCD and Hoarding Behaviour In Your Partner?

female shopaholic with laptop shopping online in messy living room
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

They pay too much attention to their things, they can tell you where things are even in a giant heap.

Can OCD and hoarding go hand in hand! The answer is yes! Please read below and see if any of these sound familiar. Also note, clearly defining a person is difficult without consultation from a licensed professional. I advise that you be kind when sharing your concerns with you partner. Most of us need help in one area of life or another. Kindness and empathy is important to ensure people consider the advice wholeheartedly.

They never want to get rid of anything. Everything can be re-purposed, even a cardboard box. When the hoarder does decide to discard something, They insist on bringing it to your attention. A person without this disorder just discards items without making any mention of it.

They have attachments to things and getting rid of it means letting a part of themselves go. It’s extremely hard for them to sell items. Because they place higher values on their things than others would. Besides, they always can find use for it or may need it down the road. They are more than happy to help YOU get rid of YOUR things. Even helping you sell it. However, mere mention of their stuff and the possibility of selling it or donating; they become anxious, raise their voice, become stressed and sometimes even angry.

hoarding behavior
  • The get frustrated when people move things and don’t place back where they found it. If you load the dishwasher and it looks like a dish was placed incorrectly, this person would be prompt to fix it. The OCD in them makes it a common theme to fix things back the way they like it. Like the placement of the window blinds, the thermostat, the toothbrush must always be in the same exact place etc…
  • OCD can cause an insatiable need to protect material things, such as; furniture, ex; use of coasters. These are the people who move your plate before you have even finished eating. Or tell you that you are not doing something correctly and their way is better.
  • The OCD person has a tendency to keep things put away and locked up tight. They sometimes get stressed seeing that other people don’t put things away neatly or orderly. And if you borrow and item be sure to give it back the way it was given to you. With OCD/ hoarding persons you likely will not be borrowing their items because they are very distrustful that others can care for their items the way they do. They usually find it difficult to share as well, often times buying more than needed and then unwilling to share with others.
Guy Hoarding
Often People who try to buy up more than they could use, are fearful and consumed with the notion that there will not be enough.
  • An OCD individual will notice small details, like the car being moved and not parked perfectly. A decorative object being out of place. They may also obsess over getting task done, writing list, and enjoy mundane task like changing lightbulbs, filters, making sure proper household duties are performed. This leads to the compulsive behaviors that can really drain them, because they won’t let people just do the job, or relegate responsibility to anyone else. For example, telling others how to do something properly and then stepping in to do it. These people can become very stressed out.Making them hard to live with. They may even take things a step further making literal signs reminding people living with or visiting to take off your shoes, or hang your coat in its designated spot. 

If you find yourself with a partner who is experiencing OCD and some form of hoarding understanding that you cannot change them is important. The OCD and hoarding person can usually find it hard to live amongst others because other people to them are not disciplined enough to play by their rules making the relationship extremely tiresome even for some of the most patient people. 

There are many other signs I may have ignored for now, but these are a few to give you a taste of what it would be like living with this person. It is not for the faint of heart. It take a person with a tremendous amount of respect, patience and love to cultivate a relationship and then reside with an OCD/ Hoarder.

One other major point I’d like to make is that a hoarder DOES NOT! need to be a person who keeps acquiring items but can be someone who can’t let go of items. So, keep an eye on your loved ones and when they start having more attachment to things rather than relationships. It may be time to have them seek help from a good licensed therapist.

It is important to seek help. OCD/Hoarding is costly to relationships. People struggle to stick around.


My site and my business of helping others connect with someone come from over 18 years of research, practice and simple common sense. Every week, I will continue to post more content that will help you narrow it down. And, I will take you on a path that will allow you to claim what you want when it comes to finding a great partner. This blog is not only for lovers but, people looking to find meaningful relationships and to understand people better. Kate studied Communications and Public Relations at CalState Dominguez College and lives in Phoenix with her husband and their beautiful son and daughters.

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