5 Signs your relationship is failing?
There are a number of things that can attribute to a failing relationship. We all want to believe it is never our fault or that we have given it our all to work on our relationships. This simply isn’t true. Like most things in life, there are signs that usually present themselves at the onset of a problem.
I’m not referring to the typical arguing about who left food out, or saying something mean because you are in a bad mood but, you quickly apologize. These could result from a bad day or just a person’s natural communication style. The signs are usually things that progress from small to big and no one seems to really take notice to correct the behaviors until it is too late. When a student is failing at school it is not usually one test that does them in! ; it’s usually a series of bad scores and sometimes attitude that prevent success!
So, Here are some fast ways to recognize your relationship may be going downhill!
- Listening is no longer done lovingly. You cringe at the thought of having another awful conversation that usually ends in denial and regret. Or worse, you know that they will want to win the conversation is always about them. If you have reached a point when your ears no longer care or want to hear what your mate says-then, it will be over soon.
- Empathy is missing-if your idea of empathy is to criticize or judge someone before trying to understand their point of view. This is no good. No one wants to be told how they should feel or act. If you mate is expressing themselves and you don’t agree or understand, simply disregarding them is not helpful. How about saying instead ” I know you must feel… I wish I could understand more and do more. I am here for you!” walla! you have been more empathic. And, if you wanted to take it a step farther. All you have to do is put yourself in their shoes.
- You have lost all attraction for them. They no longer seem attractive to you. They do unattractive things and expect you to swoon. Sometimes the person can be physically attractive yet, mentally, emotionally or spiritually lacking. And this is sometimes a big turnoff. If your with someone who is not as driven for example It can make conversations challenging. Whatever the cause, one must find their mate sexually inviting or else this relationship may not last very long.
- It seems like work. I remember old folks used to say to me as a young woman ” Marriage is work“ it takes commitment and struggles. Wow, did that put me off of marriage for a long time. I mean wth! why, would anyone want more work! Well…I am not the only person to think this shouldn’t be the case. If it becomes too much effort a person may seek someone else who they feel naturally themselves around. And that the relationship flows without too many fights.
If you can’t be yourself with this person. And, are constantly looking for advice to fix things. Or worse, actually take comfort in knowing other people have failing relationships as well, then it won’t last.
Relationships shouldn’t feel like a chore!
5. You bash or put them down. Sometimes this is done directly in front of others. And, sometimes it is complaining about them to others behind their back. If you are judging and diminishing your mate’s value by stating only the negative traits to your family, friends, and peers then things may end with a bashing contest to name each other’s flaws. Be careful, we are all flawed. You have direct control over yourself.
I hope that you can find time to really evaluate these things. I know there are only five. And, when a relationship goes bad it can be a host of issues. It is hard to work on a failing relationship when you don’t know where to start. Remember the other party has to be willing to be introspective enough to work on these failures as well.